Your dad has a doctor's appointment. He doesn't remember it. He also doesn't remember that he already has plans that day. Now you're in charge of untangling this.
Welcome to becoming your parent's external brain. Your phone is their calendar. Your memory is their backup system. Your organizational skills are the only thing keeping them from missing important appointments or double-booking themselves.
The Daily Reminder System
You've taken to calling your parents the day before appointments. "Remember, you have your cardiology appointment at 2 p.m. tomorrow." Your mom says, "Oh, I forgot about that!" Tomorrow arrives. You call in the morning. She remembers this time. Relief washes over you.
The Social Calendar Chaos
Your mom has a standing weekly lunch with friends. But she doesn't write anything down. She commits to new things and then is surprised when she can't go because of a prior commitment. You're the one who keeps track. You are now the social secretary for a 72-year-old woman.
Medication Reminder Relay
Beyond doctor appointments, there's medication timing. Your mom is supposed to take her medication at the same time every day. She forgets. You call: "Did you take your medication?" Sometimes she has. Sometimes she's already taken it twice because she forgot she already took it.
The Cognitive Changes Reality
Here's what's actually happening: Your parent is experiencing some cognitive changes. Maybe it's early-stage memory issues. But you're starting to notice patterns. They forget things more often. They repeat stories. They lose track of time. You're watching their decline and managing it quietly so they don't have to face it directly. That's a heavy load to carry alone.
What If Your Parent Had Professional Support?
At Reflections Management and Care, our care managers become your parent's external support system. They maintain calendars, provide reminders, and coordinate schedules. More importantly, they do it professionally. Your parent doesn't feel infantilized because they're not being managed by their child.
Step Back from Managing